1. Him apparently calling an eternal "dibs" on Penny - regardless if he's with somebody else or not.
2. Him contemplating cheating or actually cheating on the women in his life.
3. His constant negativity towards any change in Penny's career.
4. His utter lack of faith in her abilities.
5. The fact that he never ever seems caring towards Penny when she makes a mistake. Instead he uses that mistake to feed his own insecurities.
6. His need to refer to her as unintelligent.
7. Him apparently calling an eternal "dibs" on Penny - even if he goes after other women.
8. The way he prioritizes sex above everything else.
9. If he's not over Penny - why does he date other women and then not tell them about her?
10. The fact that he doesn't keep Penny as a friend when another woman comes along (she's a huge part of their group of friends).
Interesting list. Let me rebut some of your points. Not trying to be mean. I just want to provide som other points of view. :)
SvaraRadera1. Him apparently calling an eternal "dibs" on Penny - regardless if he's with somebody else or not.
Leonard calls eternal "dibs" on Penny because he is not over Penny and seeing her with someone else is painful for him. Leonard wants to
spend his life with Penny and even when life is not heading that way he does all he can to keep that door as open as possible in
case things change. This is a completely normal and human thing to do. Striving to be with someone you love and avoiding the
pain of that person being with someone else is completely natural. And be realistic, his eternal dips only reaches 3 people who all are
his closest friends. Penny is free to go out and date any guy she wants, it just doesn't have to be Leonards closest friends and those friends
still have the option of dating Penny and abandoning Leonard if the feelings are that genuine. All of this is completely natural.
2. Him contemplating cheating or actually cheating on the women in his life.
I fully agree! This is despicable.
3. His constant negativity towards any change in Penny's career.
This is also completely normal and jives with him striving to spend his life togehter with Penny. There are greater guys than Leonard out there.
Guys that better match Pennys personality and that better match her dreams and the life that she realy wants.
Realize this, Penny settled for Leonard because her dreams never took off and if those dreams came true, he is very likely to lose her. If Pennys
career takes of and her dreams come true she will have more important places to be and more important people to see.
If Pennys had the chance to become a movie star then that would be a once in a lifetime opportunity and she would leave Leonard and it would
not be any different than when she left any possible highschool boyfriend in nebraska to chase an acting career in the big city.
Leonard realizes this and every step in her realizing her career scares him and there is nothing wrong with that seeing as it would lead to him loosing her.
This is also completely natural and an obvious part of having a relationship with someone who strives to live a life that is completely different than the one
they already have together. It is well established several times over that Penny is living a life that is nothing like what she was hoping for. She owes
herself to take any chance to achieve her dreams and that superseeds Leonard and any needs that he might have. So it is natural for Leonard to hope that Penny
keeps settling for him and not chasing her dream. Why should Penny give up her dreams for Leonard and why should he expect anything less?
4. His utter lack of faith in her abilities.
Be honest, the series portrays Penny with a serious lack of abilities. This is necessary for this series because if she was successfull
she would not hang around with the rest of the gang. Her dreams are completely different from the life she lives now. As i mentioned earlier,
this has been well established several times over. Penny does not have any abilities worth mentioning and this goes hand in hand with her being written as
the typical blonde stereotype and this is also necessary to create some of the more obvious comedy.
5. The fact that he never ever seems caring towards Penny when she makes a mistake. Instead he uses that mistake to feed his own insecurities.
SvaraRaderaAgreed! This is also a negative trait. On the other hand. Leonard always put Penny first even when it means passing on things the he would otherwise would have liked.
He doesn't feel that anything is worth risking the possibility of a life together with Penny. Both Leonard and Penny knows that she could walk away with any guy that she wanted and
she even proves this at some points in the series. Penny lords it over Leonard that she is the beautiful one and that he has to deserve her time because she is
so "valuable" and attractive to all other men. Leonard never seems like an equal to Penny and he always seem to have to show that he deserves her presence. THIS is
what is feeding Leonards insecurities. In my opinion Leonard should have left Penny long ago because even if you get to share your life with someone you love its
not worth it if that person makes you feel bad about yourself. Its not worth it to feel like you always have to prove that you still deserves her love.
There are other girls out there that have needs that are more matched with the needs of Leonard. Penny would then also find someone better suited for her.
Leonard should have realized this a long time ago and that mistake is on him. Leonard should have realised his own limitations earlier and found someone else and he
has no one else to blame for that.
But then we wouldn't have a show to watch. would we? ;)
6. His need to refer to her as unintelligent.
Again, the series portrays her as unintelligent. So simply put, the character IS unintelligent in contrast to the rest of the gang which
is what's supposed to create most of the comedy. It's a comedy about the clash of opposites and if one side is super intelligent then the other
side has to be stupid for the comedy to work.
7. Him apparently calling an eternal "dibs" on Penny - even if he goes after other women.
Just like in #1. This is completely natural. He still dreams of a life together with Penny. He only ever wants Penny. He goes after
other women just like any other person would because there is absolutely no happiness for him if he just spent his life longing for something
that could never be. If he can't have the life with Penny that he dreams of he only has two options. He could either spend his days longing for
someone that he can't be with or he could try to create something with someone else. Trying to create some happiness for himself. Why should Penny
be the only possible source for his happines? This is completely natural and a way of moving on with his life.
Seeing Penny with someone else would still hurt and trying to avoid that is completely natural.
8. The way he prioritizes sex above everything else.
This is obvious. Firstly, this is something that is overplayed in the series because it results in comedy.
Secondly this should be even more obvious. For most (if not all) of his life, women have never turned to him for anything.
For most of his life women like Penny has not even spent the time to talk to him because there were always nicer or more exciting looking guys around. Why would he not take every
chance that he gets? He has urges and it is natural for him to jump at every chance for sex that he gets. Because in his experience
sex is something rare that almost never happens to him. Why should he be without? There is no guarantee for him that he would ever get other chances so why should
he not take it?
9. If he's not over Penny - why does he date other women and then not tell them about her?
SvaraRaderaDo you seriously think that when these other women meet a new guy (Leonard) they want to hear about how wonderful his ex is? They would leave him if he keept talking about his ex.
He doesn't want to rob himself of a chance for happiness. This is natural. Why would you chase away someone that you like because of
someone who you can't even be with? Most people carry feelings for someone that they can't be with. Does this mean that they should spend all of their time alone brooding over that one person?
Why should anyone be held hostage by someone that they can't even be with? You can have feelings for more than one person but one thing is sure. No girl wants to invest her life
with someone that keeps talking about their ex. Why should he not try to create happines for himself and his new partner instead?
If he and Penny go separate ways and he is not over Penny then the natural thing is to avoid Penny to give the feelings a chance to fade away. To let everything heal and get Penny
out of his mind. If he meets someone else that he likes why should he chase away that person by talking about Penny instead of building something new? Why should he not take every chance to
build something new? He could succeed and he could build a wonderful loving relationship between him and his new partner. In time Penny would be just a memory and he would be happy
that he took that chance. Why then would he not take that chance?
10. The fact that he doesn't keep Penny as a friend when another woman comes along (she's a huge part of their group of friends).
Leonard has absolutely no obligations to Penny or the group at this point. They have for one reason or another chosen not to spend their lives together and
both now have the option to move on. Why should you be forced to spend your life with your ex if it hurts you on the inside? Why should you
feel bad when among friends because someone has chosen to spend their life with someone else?
You should never be forced to keep a friend and you can never force your friendship upon someone else. If he doesn't want her as a friend then that is his
choice. Everyone handles these things differently and we have to respect that everyone gets to chose their own friends based on their own feelings and needs.
He also needs to do what he can to keep the relationship with his new partner intact. It's not worth it to risk the future with his new partner because
of an EX girlfriend that either way is going to spend her life with someone else. They can still hang out with the same friends just in different constilations. This is
also completely natural. No two people should ever be forced to do anything just to keep the group happy.
Why should Leonard be forced to keep her as a friend if it makes him feel bad? He has no obligations to feel bad to keep others happy. They might need to create their happines separate
from each other and there is nothing wrong with that.
This on the other hand creates a awkward situation for us viewers and the only option they ever had was to keep them together or else we would not have a series to watch. ;)
Whoops, this got longwinded but i feel that you only saw this from one side so i felt i needed to rebut. Hating someone for beeing insecure is never the answer and Penny can never blame
SvaraRaderaLeonard for feeling insecure as long as she is putting herself and her needs on a pedistal above him. ;)
I, on the other hand feel that Penny is not worth the trouble. Leonard should have stayed with the doctor that he dated earlier. She was so much sweeter. I find Penny self centered and
a bit egotistic. Penny always seem to look at everything and think, "what do i want" or "how do i reach my goals" and never "what can i do" or "what is needed from me".
It seems that she would leave in a heartbeat if the right career opportunity showed up. Leonard could instead be with a girlfriend that was more set on planing for a life together.
Penny, after all, only wanted to marry Leonard because she thinks that her real dreams of becoming a moviestar has failed. That doesn't seem like a good foundation for a relationship.
Enough ranting. Realy like the blog! Looking forward to reading more of your posts. Movies are the best!
Regards.
/Buddy
Thank you so much for you thorough comment! It's gonna take me some time to respond, since I've just started my summer job.. :)
Radera1. I agree with you, to an extent. I understand why he does it, but it doesn't mean I like it. What bothers me is that he can have sex with people and even contemplate marrying them (like Priya) but Penny can't sleep with Rajesh without calling herself a slut. I feel like when you're contemplating meeting the parents and marrying someone (Leonard: "Priya and I are in love. I think we could get married someday."), your dibs shouldn't apply anymore.
Radera3. I'm still not sure how I really feel about this one. You do have a point here!
4. No, I don't agree with you here. She's the most "normal" of the bunch, but that doesn't mean she has no talents. Above all, she's outgoing and that serves her well when she starts her new job (and she still hangs out with them). A big part of being a partner to another person is supporting them and believing in them, no matter what! Even if they suck at something in the beginning.. (Penny: So you think I’ll be on TV and in movies and win awards. Leonard: Honestly? I don’t.)
5. I agree with you on this. Penny is always two steps behind when it comes to expressing her feelings towards him or settling down with him. Of course that'll affect him! It just bothers me that he takes it out on her, instead of talking to her about it.
6. If you're with someone, you want them to support you and have faith in you.. that means not calling someone a liability when you're just playing a game for fun (season 7, e 03)! Shouldn't smart people be nice to those less intelligent? Be a little humble? He just gets on my nerves sometimes..
7. You can't own people, which is why this is one of the things that bothers me the most about him! Again - I get why he does it, but in season 1 episode 15 the guys fight over Missy: "Howard: You’ve already got Penny. Leonard: How do I have Penny? In what universe do I have Penny? Howard: So I can have Penny? Leonard: Hell, no!". Penny is a person, not an object.
8. Yes, it is overplayed. And that bothers me. I never laugh at that. And Leonard is very shy and introverted in the beginning, which has affected his dating success. I don't like the stereotype that men'll do anything for sex - that they forget everything else if a woman takes off her clothes. It just fuels the outdated thinking that men are more incapable of controlling their sexual desires than women.
9. I specifically think of when he met Stephanie, the doctor. He didn't tell her about his friend and neighbor Penny (they hadn't slept together or anything) but put Stephanie in a very awkward position (I'm just trying to put myself in her shoes, I'd feel awfully insecure if someone did that to me). I'm not saying he should gloat over his awesome ex, but shouldn't he at least mention her because she's his friend?
10. But he does want to hang out with Penny! It's Priya that forces him to send Penny away. He could at least argue that Penny can hang out with them as a group, if it bothers her that Penny hangs out with Leonard alone. He is very insecure and has a hard time creating boundaries in relationships which affects other people.
The biggest issue with him is that he is obviously gay and acts as a womanizer to "keep up appearances" , thus trying to make others believe it is not queer.
SvaraRaderaOr that just about every single thing that comes out of his mouth is either a bitchy complaint, some kind of whine or negative bitch or moan, or something about sex. Its like all he cares about is sex, when he opens his mouth im positive it will be one of 3 things, 1. Complaining, 2. Penny or 3. Someway or another sex. Hes a lame and just really annoying.
SvaraRaderaOr that just about every single thing that comes out of his mouth is either a bitchy complaint, some kind of whine or negative bitch or moan, or something about sex. Its like all he cares about is sex, when he opens his mouth im positive it will be one of 3 things, 1. Complaining, 2. Penny or 3. Someway or another sex. Hes a lame and just really annoying.
SvaraRadera